Do people marry for...

[Allergens]

my theory: if ppl were truly in love, they wouldnt get married

Facts

 

[BDP™️]

That's the word, implies.

Self -- less , without self. Being untrue to self. Love is allowing the person you love to be true to themselves.

What it really is , is compromise. Nobody should have to put another person over themselves. It's a 50 - 50 team.

"oh you don't "truly" love me cuz you don't put my needs over yours" lmaoo are u serious? cmon fam lol

It's all about compromise. I wanna do this, she wants to do that, lets meet in the middle, we'll both sacrifice.

Goldie...

 

[Goldie]

I'm in the middle of watchin Drink Champs and Jim Jones has his girl there and Nore has his there, normally Nore's wife chills in the background but she sat at the table. But anywho, Jim's girl is there talkin and jokin with erebody and Nore's chick has a stone cold face lol I know some people aren't as social so it's no major knock, but at the same time, it's like damn, u aint gotta crack jokes but atleast laugh lol

Made me think about this thread cuz it's like, it's always good to have a s/o who can introduce you to a new world, but there's still has to be some shit yall have in common. She didn't seem to have shit to add to the convo or I could be over thinking it.

But yea, i can't have a shorty who's just gon sit there, say something!

 

[Goldie]

She's there for every show

 

[IP360]

love anymore or is it more so for stability?

Ideally...love

Nowadays...it seem like more stability...with a lil love sprinkled in

 

[🌊City]

I'm in the middle of watchin Drink Champs and Jim Jones has his girl there and Nore has his there, normally Nore's wife chills in the background but she sat at the table. But anywho, Jim's girl is there talkin and jokin with erebody and Nore's chick has a stone cold face lol I know some people aren't as social so it's no major knock, but at the same time, it's like damn, u aint gotta crack jokes but atleast laugh lol

Made me think about this thread cuz it's like, it's always good to have a s/o who can introduce you to a new world, but there's still has to be some shit yall have in common. She didn't seem to have shit to add to the convo or I could be over thinking it.

But yea, i can't have a shorty who's just gon sit there, say something!

Jim Jones is one talking motherfucker man

damn near 4 hours? That's a Star Wars movie smh. It's the Cancer in him

 

[1/2]

stability, social status, peer pressure, etc

I gotta say thats mostly women tho....their groomed for this shit since kids....they HAVE to "get a husband"....even if it dont work

there's no pressure about that shit on lil boys nor do they daydream about walking down the isle....so when we come around to actually propose/ get married its usually for more genuine reasons imo

 

[JUDAH]

He just wrote a 30 paragraph post agreeing with me lol

The fact still remains, you should never have to put somebody's wants and needs over yours.

It's not a requirement. But when you love someone enough, you will do it willingly to see them happy.

I think you are trying to confuse willing sacrifice with being run over.

 

[King of GA]

This is a tough question to answer because people get married for a myriad of reasons. I would make a suggestion however. I will suggest that people not get married for love, at least what they think love is. Most people, when they talk about love, are really just talking about the feeling that they get when they are around somebody. Somebody makes them feel good, somebody stirs up butterflies in their stomach or makes the heart beat faster. All of that is fine and well, however those things are not permanent. Those things come and go. Just have a real good fight or a few and watch the first words out of your mouth to be "I want a divorce." Better yet, just let that person get on your nerves enough to where you don't feel those things anymore. If that's why you got married you'll certainly be looking for a divorce then.

There's got to be something else there. There can't be just that type of love, which is really just infatuation and based on however you feel in the moment. There's got to be something else that makes you decide that you want to stick it out with somebody even when that feeling isn't there or you just don't feel like it. There's got to be something that makes you want to commit to a person through hell or high water. There's got to be something that makes you say that when the trials come, and they will come, that there is no one else that you want to go through those with than this person and regardless of what happens when you come to the other side you'll still be married to that person and committed to that marriage.

If you aren't ready to do that, then you are not ready to be married regardless of how you feel about a person.

 

[King of GA]

Having read a few posts, I'd like to add the following thoughts:

• Someone was making the point that you shouldn't have to put your spouse's needs above your own, another was making the point that you should be willing to. Outs funny there was some back and forth as those points are not opposed. I any case, the former isn't true in practice nor suggestion. I read a good book early in my marriage called "His Needs/Her Needs." The premise is that if you are prioritizing the needs of your spouse, and they are prioritizing your needs then all needs are met...can't argue with that...
• Your spouse comes first. Period. You and your spouse are the foundation of the home. Of the foundation is solid, everyone else (i.e. the children) will be just fine. To get Biblical, you and your spouse are one (Gen. 2:24, Mat. 19:4-6). You ought to take care of your spouse as if you are taking care of yourself.

I know those don't sound practical, and modern society pretty much frowns on that, however if you look at the marriages that last I'm certain you will see some things in common, these included...