Quote of the day
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When Diego Godin signed for Argentine side Velez Sarsfield last year, the Uruguay legend was over the moon. | |
Sure, he could have earned ten times the amount hoofing the ball around some air conditioned sports centre in Riyadh, but this was real football - played for true fans who live and die for the game. | |
Unfortunately Diego’s plan sliiightly backfired when Sarsfield’s infamous ‘Barra Brava’ ultras ambushed the players and held them at gunpoint after a loss in their final league game of the season | |
“There were probably five or six of them” explained 17-year-old striker Gianluca Prestianni. “They hit me twice in the face… and told one of my teammates: ‘Get out of the car or I’ll shoot you twice in the legs.’” | |
On second thoughts, has anyone got Crown Prince Salman’s number? |
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After Daniel Sturridge’s eye-catching Sky Sports debut on Sunday, the broadcaster continued its impressive approach to nurturing young talent. | |
In a despatch from Old Trafford, reporter Melissa Reddy waxed lyrical about keeper Andre Onana’s penchant for “bollocking his defenders”, forcing Sky into a swift on-air apology. | |
Guess they’re not the only ones in line for a bollocking. |
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For most international drug lords, keeping a low profile is top of the agenda. | |
But not for Sebastián Marset. | |
In 2021, the on-the-run trafficker kicked off a second career as a professional footballer, paying Bolivian second division side Deportivo Capiatá $10,000 for their number ten shirt. | |
He played under the assumed name ‘Luis Amorim’, and showered the coach with lavish gifts including yachts and a countryside villa before disappearing without a trace. | |
In March this year, Marset resurfaced, buying rival Bolivian side Los Leones El Torno, where he installed himself as player-manager. | |
But unbeknown to his teammates, Marset was combining his central midfield role with heading up a terrifying Uruguayan drug cartel, smuggling millions of dollars worth of cocaine into Europe. | |
Last month, 2,500 police descended on the Bolivian capital La Paz, surrounding the gated mansion where Marset lived with his family and an array of exotic animals. | |
But the wily fox slipped out the back door and fled to the Bolivian Andes. | |
How long till he pops up at Nottingham Forest? |
 Neymar’s contract with Al Hilal includes a £430,000 bonus each time he promotes Saudi Arabia on his Instagram. |
 Three Burnley players captained Erling Haaland on Fantasy Football last weekend, despite lining up against him. |
 Roy Keane got in an argument with a woman at a Neil Diamond concert because she wouldn’t stop singing along to Sweet Caroline. |
Timber is fucked
Might as keep him out until next season.
Damn, Euros already???
And could we introduce broomsticks to the Saudi constitution? I’d like that.
God awful
Red devil
Midfield enforcer
Quick hits
