Good or Bad Parenting: "If Someone Hits You, Hit Them Back"

Funny story my folks tell sometimes. Think I was 5 . I was getting picked on at school. I didnt do anything. I told my parents. They told me to defend myself and hit the person back if they hit me. So I take their words to heart. Next day, I did what they said. I hit the person and I get in trouble. They get called to come to my school. They realize that the person that was picking on me was a girl, lol. They thought it was a boy. I didnt tell them who was picking on me. Said I shouldn't hit girls. I really dont remember any of this though.

I say all that to say be sure you know who is picking on your kid first before giving advice.
 
loud-ninja said:
Funny story my folks tell sometimes. Think I was 5 . I was getting picked on at school. I didnt do anything. I told my parents. They told me to defend myself and hit the person back if they hit me. So I take their words to heart. Next day, I did what they said. I hit the person and I get in trouble. They get called to come to my school. They realize that the person that was picking on me was a girl, lol. They thought it was a boy. I didnt tell them who was picking on me. Said I shouldn't hit girls. I really dont remember any of this though.

I say all that to say be sure you know who is picking on your kid first before giving advice.
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I take it you don't have any sisters?
 
Literally made a thread about this. It could be worded differently, but she's not wrong. It almost never ends as cleanly as it could if mature minds just came together and worked things out responsibility. You can hold people accountable without turning the school into a battlefield.

But parents parent with anger, and we don't live in a rationale world. People would rather further traumatize their children than teach them actual problem resolution skills by working thru the shit with patience.

But this is talking to a brick wall. Everybody gotta get their lick back.
 
Duwop said:
Literally made a thread about this. It could be worded differently, but she's not wrong. It almost never ends as cleanly as it could if mature minds just came together and worked things out responsibility. You can hold people accountable without turning the school into a battlefield.

But parents parent with anger, and we don't live in a rationale world. People would rather further traumatize their children than teach them actual problem resolution skills by working thru the shit with patience.

But this is talking to a brick wall. Everybody gotta get their lick back.
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You know this a very rational answer, but I admittedly am not rational when it comes to my kids. It's knuck if you buck in my household.
 
Well, I look at it like this. Conflict resolution is a very important life skill. And I feel as a parent it's my responsibility to teach my children how to resolve conflicts peacefully and that it actually works.

I want to show them how to asses a situation and respond to it in a way that doesn't have to lead to violence.. Because if my children end up in cuffs or prison because I didn't teach them those skills, I will hold myself responsible.

Both of my children are very capable of defending themselves if they are in danger. They have that naturally. But learning to deescalate and resolve conflicts without fighting is something they have to be taught and learn for life. And again, that's my job as a parent.

I want way too much for my children in life to throw it all away cuz some kid got in their face. I can't let 30 second turn into 30 years. They have too much to live for to throw it away with some kid in a fist fight.
 
loud-ninja said:
Funny story my folks tell sometimes. Think I was 5 . I was getting picked on at school. I didnt do anything. I told my parents. They told me to defend myself and hit the person back if they hit me. So I take their words to heart. Next day, I did what they said. I hit the person and I get in trouble. They get called to come to my school. They realize that the person that was picking on me was a girl, lol. They thought it was a boy. I didnt tell them who was picking on me. Said I shouldn't hit girls. I really dont remember any of this though.

I say all that to say be sure you know who is picking on your kid first before giving advice.
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🤣😅🤣

@Inori ninja was getting beat up
 
You teach your child to defend themselves when they are in danger they can't walk away from.

Teaching and encouraging your child to be aggressive is not defending themselves. And y'all refuse to see the difference. Most parents refuse to see the difference. And if they aren't taught the difference, your children will never learn the difference.


Which is why there are so many crash outs and people who always getting into dumb shit because they were never taught self control or emotional maturity.

And this mentality is often where it starts. But go off.....
 
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There is definitely something to be said for the balance of teaching your children to protect themselves vs conflict resolution and when to recognize when each skill is needed. So yeah there's nothing wrong at all teaching your children to strike back...but the lesson can't and shouldn't end there
 
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