OPINION Women giving themselves to the wrong men.

I've done it, I won't do it again though.
I think it isn't just because a woman cooks for a man, cleans, and etc before he makes her a wife but that some get so caught up in having someone and experiencing a relationship that we ignore some clear signs that he isn't good for us. I cook and clean period, that's what I enjoy however now that I am a mother and in a certain point mentally and emotionally I do not look forward to meeting men, cooking for them and such especially if I do not see me being serious with him. If he is not on my level, I really do not care how attractive he may be to me...he can't rock with me like that because now I have a young daughter to protect and guide.

So yeah, the things he mentioned I've seen to be true though it isn't always the case.
 
women also put a lot of pressure on themselves and end up in these types of situations

i got a few coworkers who have that 'always the bridesmaid, never the bride" attitude

i be trying to tell them just use this time to focus on yourself...they dont be hearing me tho
 
I can’t really relate. I mean I’ve done what people consider “wifely” duties. The goal for me was never marriage tho.
 
I was gonna post something in contrary to the old sayin I mentioned, but Im just too tired to formulate the right words. Maybe tmrw.
 
Whiskas said:
The husbands in my family are faithful and are dutiful providers. I think that's a good start.
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you know they are faithful how?

dutiful providers...what does this mean? they are the sole providers?
 
LP21 said:
you know they are faithful how?

dutiful providers...what does this mean? they are the sole providers?
Click to expand...

Of course we don't know for sure but there is no sign otherwise.

Being a dutiful provider means the husband regards providing well as his duty and responsibility. If he does not do it well he knows that he is not fulfilling his duty.

I take it you do not believe in faithfulness or providing?
 
it is not place to judge someone's faithfulness. Depending on the age of the men of your family, i'll assume that maybe their relationships with the women in your family havent always been picture perfect, however, they decided that staying together and working it out was more important. You picked that as a starting criteria for a man's role and then based it off the men in your family.

Again, i ask you to make the distinction b/c due to certain job dynamics, its possible for the woman to earn more than the man. Does that lessen his "provider" capabilities by your definition? In the other thread, you mentioned that a man has to make 1.5x more than you or that you would ideally like for him to do that. I cant remember, but my point is, if he is contributing...you dont have to force him get a job, he never complains about work, he might take on a side gig just to bring some additional income in the house, does that still satisfy this definition of fulfilling his duty that you've stated here?
 
Faithfulness is the first duty to be fulfilled, both by a husband and a wife, unless it is specifically waived mutually by both parties. And I do believe it is my place to judge.

Yes that would be a good start. No, I will never force because neither I or anyone can force. But a husband that fulfills his duty will be compelled by his own sense of duty to do just that.

So, enough about my ideas, what are your ideas about a husband's duties?
 
why do you get the ability to judge? What if you found yourself in a situation far from anything that you have ever imagined? or better yet, you do something and need some favor and grace. How would feel if someone decided not to extend those things to you b/c they were judging you?

i dont understand your second response

I think first and foremost, the mans responsibilty/duty is to supply the vision for his family.
 
Because if a husband doesn't fulfill his number 1 duty he will be judged by me and all who believe in faithfulness in marriages.

A vision sounds very abstract and tbh, I already have a vision and don't need his.
 
its not your place to judge b/c i guarantee, you have not been perfect your entire life. Things happen. We shouldnt be held to high standards in the first place.

then you dont wanna get married..and there is nothing wrong with that
 
No one is perfect but we all judge. Have you never judged?

Half true, as in, I do not want to get married to a man who provides nothing but a vision.
 
i stopped judging years ago, but to answer your question more direct, yes, i have judged before.

nah, you said you have your own vision and you dont need his. Thats not the same as saying you dont want to marry a man who only has a vision.
 
They are not mutually exclusive. A man who has nothing but a vision to offer does not fulfill a husband's duties in my book.
 
you keep getting caught up me saying the vision was the primary thing. I didnt say it was the only thing

but again, lets address what you actually said. You said, you have a vision, you dont need his
 
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